Dear Mystics, let’s explore personality! There are all kinds of quizzes and tests designed to help you get to know yourself better. Today, let’s dive into the Enneagram – or more formally, the Enneagram of Personality. This system breaks personalities into 9 main types, each with their own wing options, and their own growth and stress behaviors. It’s important to note that in this system, we can take on traits from types that are not our main type, depending on the situation we find ourselves in. Astrologically speaking, this is just like how we are more than just our Sun signs!

Read on for an adapted excerpt of Enneagram Every Day: A Modern Guide to Life, Love, and Career by Dayo Ajanaku. We’ll review the key ways to identify your main type and take a look at those wings and arrows. Then we’ll bring it all together with an overview of Type Four, from the companion Everyday Enneagram mini deck, also by Dayo. Let’s dive in!

What is the Ennegram?

The Enneagram of Personality, known more simply as the Enneagram, is an ancient personality typing system that draws on modern psychology and spiritual principles. The origins of the Enneagram have philosophical roots in ancient Greece with diverse roots in spirituality. Contemporary influences from psychiatrists and philosophers throughout the twentieth century have molded this personality typing system into the popular test we know (and love) today. Two well-known people—Oscar Ichazo, a South American philosopher, and Claudio Naranjo, a Chilean psychiatrist—had huge influences on the Enneagram; we still use their Enneagram model today.

As you will come to learn, each of the nine Enneagram types has different desires, motivations, and fears. Two individuals can exhibit similar behaviors, but their motivations may differ greatly from one person to the next. When used correctly, the Enneagram has the power to influence the quality of your everyday life. It can speak truth to the areas of your life that are hidden behind fear and anxiety, and it can set you free from negative patterns that can affect the ways in which you show up in the world and in your own life. The Enneagram calls you back to your essence while teaching you to appreciate the ways your personality protects you from emotional and mental—and even physical—harm. It can enlighten you, revealing that your personality is a tool for personal success, growth, and abundance.

Tips for Identifying Your Main Type

Perhaps the hardest part about using the Enneagram is finding your main type. Different factors contribute to how your main type is formed. Our main type is set at birth and cultivated through interactions with family, friends, and the world at large. Oftentimes, people who take the test early in life find that their type changes as they grow older and figure out who they are outside of the opinion and thoughts of others. But this is not true for everyone.

Finding your main type is an art more than it is a science. The most popular way to find your type is to take a test administered by a credible source. Another way people choose to find their type is by reading books like this! Reading the descriptions of all nine types is a helpful way to find your type, since type descriptions tend to be neutral in books. Another way to discover your type is by participating in typing interviews with an Enneagram coach. Depending on the experience and cultural competency of the coach, this can be a helpful tool.

With each of these methods, inaccuracies may arise due to an inability to be self-aware enough to know what your honest answer is. We often choose the answer that we wish we were and not the answer that we actually are. Exploring the Enneagram as a consciously unaware person (which we all are at some point in our lives) may lead to inaccurate results, but it can work for those who are open to seeing the truth about who they are and unafraid of what they see on the other side.

One aspect of the Enneagram that differentiates it from all other personality typing systems is that we each have all nine types within us. We lean on and take traits from types that are not our main type and will likely resonate with certain type traits outside of our own. This is normal and in alignment with the natural belief that we are all one—more alike than we are different. We all want to be good, loved, valued, special, competent, safe, satisfied, protected, and at peace. If you feel that all nine types resonate with you, take a closer look at the Type Nine personality and traits. Oftentimes, Type Nines will find themselves able to relate to almost every type because of their agreeable and harmonic personalities.

As someone who has read numerous books on the Enneagram; spoken to dozens of people about their type; listened to podcasts; attended trainings, seminars, and conferences on the Enneagram, I still incorrectly guess people’s types. It is important that we honor everyone’s own understanding and expression of their type, even if it is contrary to what we think we know.

Unique Elements of the Enneagram

While everyone has one main type, the expression of their type can be heavily influenced by numerous factors, like which wing they lean on (wings are the numbers next to yours), their growth/stress arrows, and their overall cultural, political, and social standing in the world. Individuals with the same type will likely connect on a deep level, but the expressions of their types will differ, depending on these factors.

Let’s circle back to the Enneagram type wings. Wings are the numbers next to your main type number on the Enneagram symbol. Each of the nine main types has two options for wings. These are the facets of your personality that you use when you’re in different social settings. You may lean on one wing when you’re with your family but use the other wing when you’re out with friends, at work, on a date, or in any other environment. This is your way of attempting to fit in and meet situations in a way that yields the most favorable outcome for everyone. Wings answer this question: “Who do I need to be in order to thrive in this environment?”

Another important part of the Enneagram that influences type expression are growth and stress arrows. Each type flows to the designated numbers that the arrows are connected to in both growth and stress. If the arrow is pointing away from your main type number, you’re going toward stress / disintegration / unhealth / unconsciousness. If the arrow is pointing toward your main type number, then that is the number you go to in growth/integration/ health/consciousness.

In practice, everyone will experience the growth and stress arrows differently. Many people experience the low side of both their growth and stress numbers when they are stressed and the high side of both numbers when they are experiencing growth. Knowing which numbers you go to in growth and stress can help you become more aware of your emotional standing. As you digest this information, be sure to consider not only your main type but also your wings and growth and stress types.

The objective of this book is to explore the ways you can use the Enneagram in your everyday life—to foster growth and improvement both within yourself and within your relationships. The Enneagram should be used not to become a stereotypical version of your main type but to get back to the essence of who you truly are. It is a tool you can pick up and put down depending on whatever situation, environment, and headspace you may find yourself in. But do remember: We are our essence, not our type.

Using the Mini Deck for Reflection

You can explore the ways each of the nine types express themselves in life, love, and career in Enneagram Every Day. We recommend pairing it with the companion Everyday Enneagram mini deck to reflect more deeply. The deck includes 5 question cards and 5 affirmation cards for each type, plus a guidebook offering an overview of the main types and their wings. As an example, let’s take a look at Type Four’s entry in the guidebook, plus questions and affirmations from the deck.

Type Four Moving Through Life

The Type Four is sometimes called the Individualist or the Creative. Authenticity is of utmost importance to Type Fours. They actively avoid fads and trends, and they would rather miss out on experiences simply because too many others are involved. They do not want to be a carbon copy of anyone, and they treasure their individuality. Many artists and actors are Fours. They care deeply about their chosen craft and want to inspire others to also do good, creative work. Fours are gifted at expressing the human experience in innovative ways. A life that feels disingenuous is a life the Type Four cannot peacefully live in.

Another defining characteristic of a Type Four is their ability to tap into complex, even taboo, emotions and feelings. The high side of this is that they can be incredibly empathetic, compassionate, and understanding. The low side is the Four’s tendency to get stuck in a dark, melancholic headspace.

Type Four Wings:
• 4w3—The Enthusiast: Driven to understand everyone and to obtain authenticity.
• 4w5—The Free Spirit: Curious and connected; carries the ability to remain authentic no matter what.

Type Four’s Core:
• Desire: To be seen as a special person to themselves and by others.
• Fear: That they are incomplete.
• Motivation: The pursuit of difference, expressed primarily through creative means.
• Struggles: Isolating themselves and becoming moody when life becomes difficult. Becoming overly emotional and hyperfocused on their inner world.

Questions for Reflection:
• How can you navigate your complex emotions without disconnecting from the people around you?
• What strategies can you use to put intense feelings into creative endeavors?
• How can you avoid feeling conflicted between being your authentic self and living up to societal standards?
• What are some positive things in your life that you are grateful for?
• If you didn’t have the pressure to be special or unique, who would you feel free to be?

Affirmations:
• Authenticity is my superpower.
• I can embrace the hard emotions and give room for joy and ease.
• My creativity is a gift that makes the world a better place.
• There is nothing missing in me. I have everything I need.
• Balance is my birthright.

Dive Deeper